Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Big Exhale

This morning has already proved my necessity for the daily entry of God Calling. I knew last night it would, just had that feeling (read jan 9).

WJ is working evening/nights. He has worked the last 7 days and wont be off for another 7!!! For some unnatural reason, my girls were wide awake at 4 am and just as we settled back in, WJ comes through the door at 6!!! So. We've been awake and I'm HOLDING to the words of that little book today!

"Not to be overwhelmed, not to feel life's strain!" God believes I am strong enough to handle this... I'm still waiting on that confidence to kick in.

As I miss my husband, miss my friends and companions.. I am empty. I guess this is the avenue of attack the enemy is trying with me. Lonely beyond words...!
Yet I KNOW God is the one stretching me and beckoning me to grow. Matthew 6:33 has taken me to a new depth this morning.

As we try to engage our new city, our schedule makes it almost impossible. But I sense the reason... HE wants my WHOLE trust and dependance! Joe cannot fulfill the places God resides. My children cannot. Friends and community will not complete me. This road has to be traveled. And I must empty my flesh, my emotions, and my will to embrace it.

this season is akin to years ago when I waked the road of emptying myself to singleness... Strange insight. I'll think on that one awhile.

There are moments when I feel so selfish in this, knowing there are so many others who have it much worse. Ive got the head knowledge, just waiting for my heart to catch up!

Thanks for letting me exhale this morning! I love you all

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