For those who have lost a loved one, which could probably be all six of you who read this, then you can relate to the grief that comes with special days, holidays and sometimes every day in general. As the holidays approach, I have been in a bittersweet battle between my LOVE, ok it's maybe an obsession, with all things 'December' and the fact that next week starts the journey of one year that my Dad began to slip away from us.
I've always heard of the process of grieving and how you will re-live each memory over and over, but I never realized the depth to this old saying. As the holidays approach, I have bombarded Heaven, asking my sweet friend Jesus to somehow take the heart ache and replace it with the beauty of Dad's smile, his laugh (the loud one, for he had many) and all the wonderful times that we shared. But I realize that this cannot totally happen.
Grief is reality. I know that statement sounded harsh, but it is very true for me. If not for grief, then I would forget that this is NOT my home. If not for grief, then I would not long for Heaven and the realities that it holds... my family, my friends, my Savior! So, as this time of reflection begins, I choose to embrace the cracks in my heart and let it keep my focus for HOME. for a time where there will be no more tears. I choose to let the tears cleanse every part of my soul and keep me grounded in the fact that I am but a vapor.
I feel that someone needs to know there are others who hurt, who feel and who long for times past or times future... because the present sometimes hurts too much. IF you are one of those people, please call on Jesus. It may make no sense to you, these ways of our Creator, but there is purpose. Even in the loss, there is beauty to be seen. Get to know His ways and how He sits right now at the Father's side, and longs to come back. To take us HOME.
(if you have no idea of what I am referring to when I say HOME... find a bible, or go to www.biblegateway.com and look up these verses: John 14:1-3, 1 Peter 3:18, Hebrews 13:14, Revelation 21:3, Ephesians 3:16-18) The last one is my prayer for you!
"For this world is not our permanent home,
we are looking forward to a home yet to come."