Motherhood. Redefined.

There are moments that redefine our very existence.  Having my third child was one of those moments.  I knew having three children was going to be a vast contrast from my neat little box of four.  But now that our little one is coming on three months, this truth is all the more clear.

                                               

Welcome our little man!  Born in December.  

The girls tell everyone he is their 'first' baby brother.  

Mom quickly corrects that he's there ONLY baby brother!

I've heard many moms of little boys say that it is a different world with a son.  I didn't think about this very much.  But this little man IS a mama's boy.  Sure Daddy gets to cuddle when he's available (night shift). But for the most part I'm his 24/7; and until our schedule changes, this makes juggling the girls, homeschool and life in general very interesting...to say the least.  I realize this is the norm at this stage, but I guess I really forgot (between pregnancies) what it is like the first few months. And mostly for good reason, ha!

I haven't taken time to blog in months.  There have been many A-ha moments when I would think, "I need to blog about this".   Because the humor must be shared! 

Example.  That redefining moment I mentioned earlier?  Yeah, that would be when BB (baby boy) was three weeks old.  It was around 3 am.  We were up for a feeding.  So as I'm feeding him, Goose needs me to help her in the potty.  While walking toward the bathroom (BB still latched), Prissy wakes with a nightmare!  So just to be clear:  BB on breast, oldest yelling for help, and middle screaming for Mommy to make it better.  all at once.  yeah.

Life since December has definitely brought a whole new meaning to the term "Welcome to Motherhood".  I've talked with some other new moms recently. Smiles are shared when we think of looking back on this season and admiring the women we were...are?!?!  

Parenthood. A precious gift. 

Children. A priceless inheritance.

Showers daily... A luxury!  :)

     Enjoy every moment. 

Remember: 

1. Don't bottle up the emotion tryin to be super-woman.  It won't happen. 

2. Remember to breathe. 

Laugh, cry, scream and above all exhale. Vent to that one sweet friend who is always available to listen and support you with encouraging words. And if you don't have anyone like that in your life, leave your "exhales" here in the comments.  I will listen.

I'm praying peace for all you Super Strong Mamas today! As you mold, nurture, chase and charm the little ones you've been blessed with... No matter their age.  You were chosen just for them. And I'm rootin' for you!!!

Living on Purpose...It starts at home

Last week, I posted an entry with a partial title, "It starts at home."  I am feeling a series of posts coming on that will focus on this topic.  They may be random.  Maybe not.  But lately I have resigned myself to only write when I am really motivated.  Actually this resignation is across the board of my daily routine.  (Pregnancy at an older age could attribute to this as well.)  However, I am encouraged by the wisdom I am gaining in the wee hours of morning.  So, I hope you glean from the lessons of this insomniac.

Gentleness and Patience.  An intentional life.  This is my plea.  

Sometimes in a season of waiting, we can get so focused on where we are going that the present becomes mundane.  I've been in this place for months.  This past year, WJ and I knew our season of sojourning was coming to a close.  And as our dreams are soon to becoming a functional reality, the waiting creates an impatience that oft times ruins my daily outlook.  I long for what is to come.  I cry out for that place we are headed, knowing in the physical that balance will come.  Better schedule, better community, more opportunity for our family unit.  Yet I know in my spirit that I still have lessons to learn right where I am.  

This morning.  Prime example.  

I awoke with the usual thoughts of marriage, motherhood, our household.  Knowing I didn't handle all as I should have yesterday, but knowing that I didn't prepare for my day as I should have either.  I could have spent more time actually being with my girls, instead of just existing under the same roof.  That load of laundry really needed to get done.  I should not have allowed the TV to be on as much.  So many little things that add up.  And yes, I could excuse this because of pregnancy, but somehow that seemed a bit off this morning.

Truth:  I am genuinely hard on myself about my time and focus, but somehow this keeps me on my toes.  I guess if I didn't care, I wouldn't be concerned with becoming better?!?    

  So, as I lay there, that still small voice prompted me to pick up my book Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.  (Yes, I've had the book for a long time and no, I did not finish all at once.)  The next chapter I was on was entitled "Living on Purpose".  Amazing coincidence?  I think not.  

In the 12th chapter, Sarah Mae talked about not wanting to regret her life.  She wrote of how she woke up in the middle of the night in fear that she had not done enough as a mother.  Sound familiar?  Yeah, I thought so too.  She corresponded with Sally Clarkson on how to live more intentionally.  Putting her intentions into action.  Living on purpose.  The chapter was EXACTLY what I needed on this exact day.  And here are my thoughts from the wisdom that literally jumped off the pages right into my soul.

Journal Entry:  

My Thoughts - Fulfillment and Balance will not fully come by a mere change in geography.  This has to start now.  Right where I am.  Right here.  It has to come with how I prepare, view and live out each day...no matter how simple.  No matter how much each day tries to convince me that life is mundane, I have to remember it's up to me to reject that and change the atmosphere.  

How can I change this?  this theory that geography is going to solve my longing for fulfillment?  three things...

1.  Nurture more than teach.

2.  Care more than command.

3.  Be intentional.  

Brainstorm - If I would just turn off the TV and fill our home with things that create joy... purpose will come.  So, what brings me joy?  Candles for the season, music, art projects and a good book.  Small ways to bring life into the home.  To connect me with my children, to enjoy what is left of this quiet season.  

My Prayer - "Lord, help me tune out what makes me passive and replace it with passion for life again so it can overflow in our home."  

Life has to happen on purpose.  Baby steps.

Today we buy a new book, a new candle and we dance.

~jme

UPDATE:  baby boy was born on December 10th. I still wake to feelings of missing the mark. However I've applied some of the insights from this post and life has been somewhat calmer... Even in the midst of adjusting to being a mother of three!

Preparing for each day...It starts at home.

I can claim the promises of God, allow scripture to penetrate my soul 

and spend countless hours with my Savior...

 I can speak encouragement to my peers, pray with those in need and 

walk in the light of Jesus among my community...  

BUT.  

If this is not first applied within my home, to my family, my children, then I have missed it.

It starts at home.

Our greatest influence, our biggest assignment, our most precious disciples.

Marriage, parenting and running the household.

Let this be a prayer and preparation for my soul, my will, each morning:

"I will walk with integrity of heart within my house."

Psalm 101:2

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditations fo my heart be acceptable in Your sight, oh my Rock and my Redeemer."  

Psalm 19:14

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

Romans 13:14

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends."  

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control; against such things there is no law."  

Galatians 5:22

"Therefore, as you have received Jesus Christ the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith.  Just as you were taught, abounding in Thanksgiving."

Colossians 2:6

~Lord, may your word be established in my heart.  May my body, mind and soul reflect the virtues of your ways so the heart of my husband can trust in me.  Let my tongue bring peace, calm and gentle instruction to my children.  In Jesus Name.

A daily life of purpose

Recently, WJ and I decided to revisit the way our home runs on a daily basis. We needed a new schedule.  And we needed to stick to it.  Make it happen.  In order to see this through, we challenged ourselves to implement this way of life for 30 days.  

What spurred this challenge?  Well, the obvious reason was that I had a very rough time during the first trimester of this third pregnancy. Life as we knew it had stopped. Completely.  For two months.  I had no motivation, no drive to do anything from housework to home school.  Sadly I will admit, the other three members of my family had been entertained for weeks on Netflix & PBS Kids while I tried to keep myself out of the bathroom! I was so thankful when weeks 14-15 came around.  All sickness and aversions to the kitchen in general, subsided. Life began to look normal again.  I actually found myself craving healthy food and was able to focus on the fact that I have daughters and a husband!  

Back in March, I had made a decent attempt to revisit life; of course, this was just before we found out about Baby H growing inside the womb.  So, on my 37th birthday (of all days) WJ and I finalized our plan. Hoping to create habits that would stick, I had evaluated our awake hours and worked up a better schedule for home school, meal times, family/craft time, etc.  We discussed past experience and realized that we are truly a family unit that needs a schedule.  Our lives and home run better with a little organization and determination. 

WJ's conviction of this had a bigger purpose.  He talked of the importance of making the most of our time now when our days were simple.  One job.  Two kids.  Not much activity outside the home.  He said that if we could do this now, we would be ready for more children, more community and one day, hopefully, our own business.  Made sense to me. Succeed in the small things... etc., etc. 

So, we did it.  I am pretty pleased to say that we are in our 6th week and things have been so much better.  Aside from the whole family being attacked with a yucky stomach bug mid-summer, we have accomplished what we set out to do.  And this home has been so full of joy.  Considering I am now 23 weeks pregnant with our third child, the timing of this new way of daily living was impeccable.  The girls are happier about school, I am walking upright, albeit large, still upright.  And WJ has a better view of our future.  

So far this pregnancy has been a symbol of many things 'revisited' for us.  The focus now: living.  BEING instead of doing.  Of course the house is not spotless, we live here.  And our 'To-Do list' isn't completed every day.  But our hearts are in it.  We are attacking each day with purpose.  

My biggest lesson in this:  the more I began to focus on the little workings of our family and our new challenge, the less time I had to see the negative, or what we didn't have.  I became thankful for what we did have.  This simple time in our lives.  I also had no time to allow selfishness to rear its ugly head!  

Well, that sums up our little world for now.  Hope you all have had a terrific summer and are as excited to welcome the beautiful season of Autumn as I am.  (Although, in the South, its more of a mindset than a physical expression!)  

What are some ways you have re-worked life to run smoother on a daily basis?  Has the Lord shown you anything about your family that could be preparation for busier days ahead?  What season do your find yourself in?    

Life Revisited

This last month has been crazy.  Literally.  Finding myself in a slump... a dumpy place with no motivation to move, much less be a mommy.  Ever have those moments?  Well... welcome.  Life used to be so orderly, so scheduled.  But lately, in the words of my favorite blogger, Ann Voskamp, "I've traded perfection for a good dose of real."

I wondered so many times what in the world was happening to me?  Sure, WJ has a new schedule to which we have all taken longer to adjust.  But where did my 'drive' go?  Where did my passion for teaching, cooking and fitness go?  Just 2 months ago, I was so gung-ho!  Now, nothing.

I still don't have all the answers to this.  But I do know that God has shown me many things about myself and I'm realizing one major thing.  I AM NORMAL.  Never thought this before.  I'm always too hard on 'me'.  Too critical of my daily function.  I guess, since the creator of the universe already knew this, it was time for the big reveal.  And boy I am getting it.  I'm sure most of you reading this are smirking just a little.  If you are close to me then you knew this lesson was coming.  

I do not fault myself for wanting order in my home or a schedule that keeps me sane.  Some thrive on this.  Some hate it.  What I am learning is balance.  On days when reality collides with my mentally perfect world, I now know that I can survive it.  Its ok if the floors don't get swept, if the dishes are still in the dirty side of the sink when I wake up (ok, maybe only one or two nights a week!) The point is, life is about what we do, not how it looks.  I'm done with surface perfection.  This does not guarantee peace or happiness.

I am learning the seasons of motherhood, womanhood and wilderness.  And while this post may make no sense to anyone else, that is the beauty of it all.  

Life revisited from a 'normal' perspective.  My kids are safe.  They are fed and clean before bedtime (most nights).  I have simplified homeschool and we are on a much slower pace.  

Simplicity and balance.  This is my focus for the coming months. 

We will survive.  By grace and HOPE.  

Be the lens.

We visited one of our favorite places this weekend, Barnes & Noble.  It's our go-to when there is no where else to. go. to. 

While WJ sat with the girls as they played with Thomas the Train, I decided to venture into uncharted territory.  I wanted to see what the rest of society read while I dreamed of a perfect world through my copy of Southern Living magazine.  What I found totally floored me.

When did "Teen Paranormal Activity/Novels" take a whole section of a rather large store?  Yes, at the moment I realize I have lived under a rock for 6 years.  But I could not believe what I saw on FIVE sets of shelves all under the heading "Teen". 

as in not adult.  as in my life just 7 years

from now as Goose is 6 next week! 

As I googled 'manga' on my phone, I stood wondering why this really surprised me.  I do not think evil exists only at the level of the wicked witch or the evil stepmother. Yet, I was taken aback at the onslaught of material that people obviously see as harmless.  Please understand, I knew this type of writing existed. What shocked me was the target audience.  All of a sudden, I felt weak. 

WJ's words to Goose came crashing down around me as I recall him saying over and over the last few weeks, "You know Goose, you could stay 5 for a while longer. You don't have to grow up so fast!"
He is always encouraging me in my daily work with them; now I understand his urgency.

 I saw them through his eyes.

He leaves every day for work, 

and when he comes home,

he sees a growth in them

that I overlook because I am so close. 

Well, in that moment, I saw it.  And it terrified me.

I rushed back to my family, in tears, needing to see my little girls...needing to look into their innocence and cherish that moment.  the moment I realized time is not slowing down.

As Goose ran toward me excited over a new book, I interrupted her and simply asked, "Will you please stay 5 years old?  Please don't get any older.  Stay exactly how you are right now."  Of course she looked at me with the look, you know the "Mo-o-om" look (Mom:  pronounced in 3 syllables instead of 1).  But I held her anyway.  Enjoying her.  And wondering how many young children are familiar with topics of witchcraft, evil seduction & the occult; thinking them to be harmless stories. 

As I looked around, I didn't have to wonder long.  Right there in the children's section, was the introduction of deceptive evils to this generation.  In neat box sets, & catchy covers...still evil.  I watched as a mother tried to help her seemingly very young daughter figure out which series to read next.  Both choices made me cringe.  It broke my heart to see the exposure Satan has gained in such a young audience. And it started with what someone allowed to be ok. A society desensitized more and more every year.

Please understand, WJ & I long to teach our children with a broad scope of cultural literacy & artistic license.  We are not in a 'bubble' mentality whatsoever.  We desire to help them grow into well rounded women who are able to live in a society that is diverse, while holding to their convictions, whatever they may be. 

We teach JESUS.  The son of God who dined with sinners.  Not a man who rejected anything or anyone that was not 'holy'.  He lived and breathed reality.  He accepted people for who they were and He adjusted to his surroundings while holding to His convictions.  This is the pattern we strive for. 

At some point, our children have to be aware.  And we, as parents, want to be the lens that exposes reality.  

Please hear me.  Cliches truly have purpose. 

If we do not teach them, someone else will.

I believe that many limit this statement to mean, "Teach them what you want them to know; solely what you want them to believe."  This is so wrong.  If you, as parents, do not take opportunity for explanation when they come to you with questions, they will figure it out.  Someone will show them how cruel the world can be. 

Please pray about how to introduce reality to your children.  Look for teachable moments and show them ways to deal with what they will face, or are already facing.  Don't ignore it.   

 BE THE LENS.  

 

...click on the 'cliche' for a similar post

on how we use reality as a teachable moment

  

I am selfish. Period.

Previous posts about our home life seem to be so together and tidy. From daily schedules to what I teach in homeschool, 'life as a Harris' is organized for the most part. But (there is always a but) I am still such a selfish mommy.

This morning I awoke to a quiet house long before daylight. But there was such a heaviness in my heart.  I'm a mess.   Lately, I have been overwhelmed with the realization that I would rather find cute things on Pinterest than watch Letter Factory for the millionth time. It does prick my heart to know that I find more enjoyment in reading another chapter on motherhood than actually spending time as "playmate mommy" most afternoons. Turns out, I'm not alone (thank you @saramae! Desperate, chapter 7).  For months now I've read, and even quoted, wiser women on being the best version of me that I can offer to my girls. "They are our greatest disciples!" yes. It's just taken a while for my heart to catch up... Well today is catch up day.

 

How can I be for them when I don't want to do anything? When I should be creating palaces and princess adventures in the living room with chairs and blankets, I'd rather not. When did I lose interest in my own children? Now this is sporadic. Some days are wonderful, then bam. Bad, sad day. Focused inward, not upward or outward. Such a mess. 

I've still got so much in me that needs denying so their spirits aren't crushed in the mix. But I've asked the Lord to soften my heart and put in me a desire to just sit with them. To breathe. To realize laundry can wait. Dishes can wait. What matters most is for them to see that I am all in. In the moment. with them, watching them. not just taking up space. Today i began trying to make our home their favorite play place. I'm realizing that my crafts, books and computer time have to come second to their desire for me to be at their tea party.

So as the sun peeked from behind a snow filled morning, tears streamed down my face and I surrendered. Again. Knowing I cannot do this alone. The grief, my selfish focus, has to be left at the foot of my cross. I will take it up daily, this sacrifice of self (Luke 9:23). And my daughters will know that Mommies are more than "Pick this up. Flush the potty. Use your INSIDE VOICE! (said in my outside voice)". 

Balance is dawning within my heart. Now it's time for it to brighten our home. I'm grateful for the book Desperate by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson along with their blogs.  These women have helped capture my heart as well as allow a sigh of relief that I am not alone. Every mom faces it. The tired days. The weary moments. It's what we do in those moments that make the difference. I'm determined to show my daughters Jesus...patient, affectionate, selfless Jesus; and me, their Mommy who doesn't have it all together but is present and willing to give them my full attention.

the only good in me is His grace. wild and unconditional. and that is the anchor for this heart tonight. Sweet dreams.

a Message in the Fog...

google.com/images

On Wednesday, for the first time since being in Oklahoma, the fog that set in was so thick it lasted all day.  As we ran our errands, I bleakly stared out the window.  Thinking this day fit my mood.  And everyone around me knew it.  Lately, it had been a chore simply to get out of bed, to keep house or affectionately be who I loved being. Then it came to me. This fog held symbolism beyond my mood.  I realized that looking at this fog was like looking into our future.  Even though I could not see very far, it was still there.  Something.

 

The fog that afternoon has captivated my memory for two days now.  Thoughts of my short sightedness, just like the fog.  For reasons we cannot see, the fog remains hiding the distant path.  In the landscape that we are able to see clearly, rest assured there are lessons to learn.  And if not taken at a slower pace, drifting too far into the fog can be dangerous. 

At times, the fog's density is to hide things that may be more fearful than the fog itself.  God cares about our journey.  And sometimes he gives just enough clarity for the steps we currently need to take; shielding us from surroundings that may cause panic and doubt.

 

I am amazed at how, when I am at my weakest, He shows me something like this.  Fog...so mysteriously simple.  I have learned a great deal this week about my dependance; needing to lean solely on my Creator.  After all, if word be true, He knows what I need before I ask.  To trust His guidance and care of our lives and future is daunting at best.  But moments like these, with the revelation of the fog, my spiritual visibility is perfectly clear.

So I hold to the unwavering joy of what I cannot see.  Unexplainable and sometimes misunderstood, this hope is the anchor of my soul.  No matter the struggle, no matter the view, and no matter how hard life has tried to squeeze it from my being, I must carry on in hope.  And with each moment of surrender, I find a glimpse of symbolism in the world around me.  Grace. 

It's as if He is whispering, "I am here.  At the next turn in the road.  With just enough light to renew hope for your journey.  Come.  Don't give up."  And the fog lifts.

www.google.com/images

The Big Exhale

This morning has already proved my necessity for the daily entry of God Calling. I knew last night it would, just had that feeling (read jan 9).

WJ is working evening/nights. He has worked the last 7 days and wont be off for another 7!!! For some unnatural reason, my girls were wide awake at 4 am and just as we settled back in, WJ comes through the door at 6!!! So. We've been awake and I'm HOLDING to the words of that little book today!

"Not to be overwhelmed, not to feel life's strain!" God believes I am strong enough to handle this... I'm still waiting on that confidence to kick in.

As I miss my husband, miss my friends and companions.. I am empty. I guess this is the avenue of attack the enemy is trying with me. Lonely beyond words...
i.crave.community!
Yet I KNOW God is the one stretching me and beckoning me to grow. Matthew 6:33 has taken me to a new depth this morning.

As we try to engage our new city, our schedule makes it almost impossible. But I sense the reason... HE wants my WHOLE trust and dependance! Joe cannot fulfill the places God resides. My children cannot. Friends and community will not complete me. This road has to be traveled. And I must empty my flesh, my emotions, and my will to embrace it.

this season is akin to years ago when I waked the road of emptying myself to singleness... Strange insight. I'll think on that one awhile.

There are moments when I feel so selfish in this, knowing there are so many others who have it much worse. Ive got the head knowledge, just waiting for my heart to catch up!

Thanks for letting me exhale this morning! I love you all

Breathe. Inspiration for Moms.

It's the most anticipated (by me), "Gonna Be Inspiring" (for me) book for Moms this year !  And it's only January 8th! 

 

I have been following the story of how this book evolved for a few months now and it has been refreshing... so many Moms on overload or burnout and these two ladies discerned our needs and wrote the book!  Maybe you don't feel this way, maybe you have a handle on your everyday happenings, which is fantastic.  I do, most (some) days.  But there are those days, you know which ones I'm talking about... And it's those days that this book will remind us that, at some point, we have to exhale. 

I'm not usually an advocate for 'ranting' about books, people, movies (well, maybe movies)... but this one is going to be worth the read!  

 

If you are:

the new Mommy (a little scared)

the toddler Mommy (a little frazzled)

or just the Mom (I've heard the name changes, with syllables added,

                                                                      around 5th grade:  enough said)

       ORDER it today. 

There is even a plea for seasoned moms (who are past the fearful, frazzled & annoyed years) to reach out and help younger mothers in the journey.   I enjoy the blogs that these two authors have and I am so grateful for the community of moms that it has linked me to.

The link for the book

www.desperatemom.com

 

There are actual giveaways on this site if you order this week, which is way cool.  I mean, what Mom wants to pass up a chance for free coffee, or massages for an ENTIRE YEAR?!?!  and even a trip to COLORADO?  thought so. 

 

go.  now.  order.  be inspired to engage life as a mother and realize that some days, it's not all natural and easy.  But there are ways to enjoy the kid(s) and be pretty good at it in the process!

exhaling now...

leave a comment and let me know what you think of the sample chapter or the blogs if you get a chance to check them out!

Pulling the sweet tooth...

Yesterday was a great day in the journey to shrinking. Even saw my first decrease in weight: down 2.5 pounds this week!! Yet this was only the calm before the storm...

Out of nowhere, today I found myself standing over the cake. The cute chocolate cake that Goose made for us on New Years...and yes, yes I did. Fail.

Do I regret having the cake in the house? no. Because the memories of baking with my daughters is something that is very dear to me. We have designated Sundays and holidays for these times of indulgence, or "letting the sweet tooth loose" as the girls say. Although I have declared that I'm pulling my sweet tooth out for a while :)

I simply have to allow my will power to overpower my weakness!!

So what was the trigger? Well the day started out good, worked out early and eating clean through lunch. Then it hit. I was overwhelmed with a dirty house, dirty clothes & trying to get Christmas stuffed back into the attic (a bit nostalgic missing my Mom...and my Dad). The girls are restless, the hubs is working yet another weekend... Need I say more? Good. Because I try not to excuse myself from life. So why this paragraph? Because I want you to know that you are not alone. Temptations and pressure will come begging you to give in. But there is a way to beat it...

It's all in the mind. Prepare mentally for the day as much as you do physically. If I had started my day with a mental workout, a little reading/prayer, it may have been a better day. It's ALL mental!

And another thing! what if? my twisted little subconscious tried reward itself for actually shrinking this week... This is a VERY lame but reoccurring affect in the female journey. Don't fall into this trap.

Note to self: Just because you reached a goal doesn't mean it's time for a treat... Especially the first week! So I dropped a pound or two. Big whoop. High five the mirror and move on!

I am picking myself up and starting the day over. Right now. 2pm

On a side note...
Here's a little bit of sunshine in my storm of a morning.... Ms. Prissy joined mommy in the fitness groove. How cute is this? (and yes, I know, my girls never wear clothes)

Raw confession

Ok, so I'm finally going public. I am overweight.

If you just giggled, good! Because starting today, I could use your humor to get through the awkward moments of putting myself out there... Accountable to you.
All six of you.

I have failed in the past three years to actually stay consistent and whip my 5ft frame back into shape. If i had just done it right after baby, it would have been so much easier. I could list the excuses and reasons that have contributed to this, but bottom line is.... It's all on me.

Every day I think about it. Every morning I wake up determined to do better. Some days I do. Most I do not. Being a stay at home mommy makes it tricky being that most days my wardrobe consists of PJ's or leggings, no make up and shirts with paint all over them!

Although i see being 20+ too big as a major issue, it gets old to be thought of as "not" having weight issues because I have a small frame. Thankfully, this is not an internal problem. I have a wonderful husband who is not only patient and understanding, but also very supportive.

So, I am starting with our daily routine. We are pretty scheduled with home and homeschool. Now I'm applying it to my personal appearance. Each morning, I am going to "get ready". Just as if I was going out, I will BE for myself and my family what I would attempt to be for society (Old timers would call this "gettin done up"). And that's just what I'm going to do. Because WHO I see in the mirror is going to gauge HOW I see myself. And act accordingly.

So there. I am transparent. No pictures yet. I have before pics, but hey, this post was hard enough. Not going to make it harder... Yet.

Baby steps! Happy New Year!

That moment. That terrible moment.

Yesterday was spent in a whirlwind of fun, family shopping and holiday festivities here in our new town. Lights, reindeer, Santa, Bing singing on the radio... You get the image.

We set out early and made a day of acquiring all the goodies that will make
next week even more special from sugar cookie dough to new stockings for the mantle. Most of our gifts are ready for the taking and we ended the night in, none other than, the Bass Pro Shop.

As we strolled the aisles, the girls were being champs seeing as how it was the eighth hour of their day out. WJ and I were enjoying getting some last minute gifts for extended family. And then it happened. That moment. That terrible moment that no mother, or anyone for that matter, wants to see...

Prissy had licked the floor! She and Goose were playing with the stroller and I guess a game of "puppy" had developed. Yes, my child was on all fours and had put a little wet spot on the concrete.

There were no words, well none that could be heard out loud by little ears. I scooped her up and seriously considered taking an antibacterial wipe to her tongue. But the damage was done. Even WJ, who's usually "Mr. Awe They'll Be Fine", was looking at her like, "really"?

I smile this morning as I post this, mainly because there are no "terrible mommy" symptoms that have surfaced in Prissy's well being. And believe me I've pleaded the blood of Jesus over her more than once in the last 12 hours.

Just thought you'd enjoy, or be horrified at our little parenting glitch! Happy Sunday!

Overwhelming realities

Much has been said of the tragedies in Connecticut. And justifiably so.


But I must share... Our baby girl loves to sing "shake your booty" as i am drying her off after bath time. I'm usually rushing them off to bed at this point so I can straighten the bathroom that is now covered in bubbles.

Not so tonight... We enjoyed our time as Prissy did the bath dance and Goose's laughter echoed through the house. WJ and I tucked them in slower than usual as I sang an extra verse of the "fall down" song.

Tears streamed down my face as the girls began to sing with me... YOU ARE MY STRENGTH WHEN I AM WEAK, the treasure that I seek... YOU are my all in all.

Somewhere in the northeast tonight, there are so many parents who will never have this opportunity again... To simply give their little ones a bath, to tuck them in. i thought of the heartache of seeing their presents sitting under the tree that will never be opened and shared Christmas morning.

Don't rush life. It's too precious to miss simply because we, as adults, have lost sight of the magic it brings. Not just this season but every day in the smallest of moments.

Life truly is a vapor... And that overwhelms me to no end.

Accidentally Delicious

Many memories come to mind as I think of Dad's opinion of my culinary skills, or lack thereof.  BBQ chicken was one of the only things he thought I could cook.  He never believed that I had any skill in the kitchen; and with good reason, seeing as how I did not cook AT ALL until I got married!  So with a few hilarious stories of 'meals gone bad', Dad set his mind to this logic. 

 

Even though I had come a long way in just a few short years, Dad still requested this one dish every time I offered to cook. He justified it by saying that if I granted his request, then there would be no need to go to Cane's afterward.  So, as we remember him this week, I made his baked BBQ chicken today, which is also Goose' favorite, making this one of my first family recipes. 

 

But this blog is not about the chicken.  It is about the cole slaw...

 

First let me state that it takes a pretty good coleslaw recipe to impress me.  Being from the South, I have had my share of horrible attempts at this basic dish; so much so that I will not eat it in a restaurant.  Ever.  I am not a fan of the vinegar taste, or the sweetness for that matter.   In looking for new recipes and healthier eating, I decided to try and make it... after all, it is another way to get 'green' on the table.  We won't mention the amount of Hellman's that totally hides all the healthy color!

 

I bought the precut mix (Eat Smart) and set out to make my first Coleslaw for lunch one day last week!  Since I had no idea what to use for the dressing, I broke my own rule and followed the recipe on the bag...FAIL.  While it was a hit with the girls, I hated it.  Thus the rule:  Don't use the recipe on the box or bag.  There is a reason they aren't in a cookbook! 

 

Today, I came up with another version, and I have to say, it may be detrimental to the diet because I could have eaten the whole bowl!

 

Here is what I added to the mix

1/2 packet of dry italian dressing mix

2 heaping tablespoons of Hellman's

grated parmesan cheese (you decide how much)

 

Now, I know that mayonaise is like bacon... not good for you but EVERYTHING tastes better when you include it!  I mixed this together and voila!

 

 

Italian Coleslaw!

 

I'm looking for another name because frankly I do not think the words coleslaw and italian should ever go together in a sentence... Suggestions? 

 

What are some of your favorite 'made up' recipes?  I would love to hear about your accidentally delicious meals!

Family, Firsts & a few Nicknames

Our recent trip to Mississippi held many firsts... 

I love 'firsts', if you didn't already know!

 

First of all, I have two friends back home in MS that were pregnant. 

So it was a treat to get to visit with both on this trip...and one surprised us all!
 

 

The arrival of Mag-Pie was the 1st first! 

Sorry, couldn't resist...

 

 

This little 'New Dat' came early just so I could meet her!  And there is a post coming with more of this precious child.

 

 

Then came the "Days of Nesting"...

The girls and I spent time helping prepare for the second baby of the season. 

 

 

This one was a little more determined not to arrive while I was there. 

SHE was not concerned with my schedule at all.

 

 

 

 

This year we were so excited to spend Thanksgiving

with my Grandmother Gummie and our Grand-Aunt Sadie. 

I love the name Sadie,

so I couldn't replace it.  

 

 

Gummie and Goose enjoy writing stories together about our family. 

Bear was helping. 

 

 

 

 

 Thanksgiving breakfast rolls!

Heaven and butter smashed together... 

 

 

And yes, I ate the other half of this pan!

 My Grand-Aunt Sadie is amazing, and fully responsible for the 5 lbs.

I must have gained on this trip!

 

 

 Prissy helped in the baking, I mean tasting!

 

This was the girls first Thanksgiving to spend with Gummie and Sadie... Time at their house is always so refreshing.  After the girls were asleep at night, we sat and read from Proverbs or prayed for family.  These two women are as solid in the Lord as any I've ever known.  I am grateful for them and time spent together.

 

Yes, that did sound like a Hallmark card.

But so true.

 

 

 

 

 

And then came time with the Cousins!!!  These are some of my FAVORITE people in the world. 

 

 This is Strawberry Shortcake, or better known by me as Bella-baloo, the tenderhearted sweetheart.
 

I know, I know.. I love nicknames!

 

 

 

 

 

This is Drewby. 
Our little cowboy...


As we were leaving last week,
       he was lasso-ing his sister.  












And then, there is sweet Ada-Gace!
This nickname comes primarily from Prissy's pronunciation. 

I love her faces...and those Precious Moments eyes!

There are many other cousins not pictured in this post... some because they had the flu, and well, we just didn't want to hug on them at the time... others we were not able to see at all. 






During this season of family and faith, let those who are closest know that you love them.  Hug them, if they aren't sickly.  Be sure to tell them how much it means to have 'the ones you cannot choose' with you through this wonderful time of year!

 



Motherhood & Missions

A good day.  A good, good kind of day.  After a week of sluggish little girls with stuffy noses, I was pleased to welcome this monday morning with a few firsts...my best friends' anticipation of her firstborn in Mississippi and a text message from Hong Kong.

 

The morning started with the realization that my eyes opened at the exact time my bestie was scheduled to be at the hospital for induction.  Her butterball of a baby (no gender or name yet) is to arrive today since he (because I just refuse to call it...IT ) has pushed 'Little Mississippi Mama' into her 41st week of pregnancy.  This little family was one of the reasons we traveled to MS in November.  It was a special time with our family and friends as we put the finishing touches on the gender neutral nursery.  Plus, Thanksgiving! (more to come on this)  The trip was very crucial for us in light of the fact that we could not be there today. 

 

So, I sit in Oklahoma this morning, texting and laughing with her.  And as I collect written thoughts, she is enjoying jolly ranchers and pitocin. 

 

My other first came almost simultaneously.  While in conversation through text to Mississippi, I receive a message from Hong Kong!  Our little missionary firecracker left Africa this weekend and finally arrived safely in Asia.  It was so refreshing to hear from Ash.  I could feel the excitement of whats to come this month as they transition.  How strange it must be to go from primitive living in the bush to big city China!  A literal 'culture shock'.  Yet the fascination and passion she has for missions is in full force and I am so pleased to have the technology available to share her experience.  As our conversation/typing progressed, I realized that this truly is her calling.  She is in awe of the world and it's diversity.  Our small town girl abroad...  Serving and sharing her life, forgiven and free.

 

So you see, I simply could not let the beginnings of this day go un-written.  It has been too special already and baby is not even here yet!  More to come... Happy Monday

Our lives, revisited.

currently on an extended trip back home to visit family before the holiday rush...

As this next week approaches, I have mentally revisited our lives this time last year.  We were still living close to home (MS), family and life unfolded every day as I thought it should.  Little did I know then, that within one month this life would have revealed two major shifts in the permanent direction of our family. 

 

While I feel it is time to engage the memories through written thought, my first thought is one of those, "If you had told me ______, I would have laughed and called you crazy" kind of moments.  So, I begin with this challenge:

EMBRACE those around you.  Truly cherish people, not things; your life could be totally different with the blink of an eye. 

Sunday Funday!

Sundays are a family day to be lazy, run around the yard (me, not so much), shop, sleep or whatever else we decide to get into.  It usually begins with early communion and then a little family time over the biggest breakfast of the week.  And this meal is only the beginning... 

 

Reese's Cupcakes and Choc Chip Cookies

Sundays are fun days because we EAT.  There is no calorie counting or meal plans and my fitness pal takes the day off.  The only plan we have is to eat, enjoy our time together and, if we aren't outside, watch football or Curious George.  Did I mention we eat?

 

After a large portion of either pancakes, french toast, or some other dessert disguised as a breakfast food, I prepare the crock pot for Sunday dinner.   No weekend is complete without comfort food.  Lunch usually consists of leftovers (Papa Murphy's is the best) or junk food, or both.  I do try to moderate the girls intake of sugar most of the time, but it's not called 'Sunday Funday' for nothin'. 

 

My favorite dessert
 

Today has been a great day, but I have learned the hard lesson of past experience:  Sunday recovery is a necessity.  I MUST motivate myself to prepare for Monday.  A little time spent reviewing lesson plans is about the extent of it.  Perhaps the most important aspect of my recovery is to stop the crazed eating by 5 p.m., especially caffeine. I've slowly introduced the girls to a love of Dr. Pepper.  No feelings of remorse here.  If you could hear Prissy asking, "Momma, on some Docta Peppa peez", you would understand my lack of guilt. 

 

And so with the completion of our fort made of blankets, a few chewy chocolate morsels, and a difficult rendering of Fox in Socks, we have enjoyed this day.  After all, in a world where taking a sabbath is almost unheard of, we try to maintain a little reverence. 

 

What are some of your Sunday Funday traditions?